Friday, October 2, 2009

Big Ten Picks Week 5

I had perhaps my most embarrassing work moment ever yesterday. Well wait let me think...yeah there's been a few over the years, but I think this one tops it. It wasn't anything bad enough to get fired for, but it was certainly enough for the co-workers (and my wife once I told her. And her friends one she told them. Ahh marriage) to make fun of me.

Yesterday morning in the Twin Cities we had a monsoon. 20-30 mph winds coupled with heavy rain that was coming down sideways. I have a pair of linen khaki pants that I got this summer that I absolutely love since they look work appropriate and yet are super comfortable. This is my first item of linen clothing I've ever owned, so I wasn't aware of what would happen should they get soaking wet. So I wore them to work. I park my car about a 10 minute walk away from my building, and I grabbed a trusty umbrella thinking this would keep me plenty dry.

Wrong. First I'm too tall for normal umbrellas to keep me dry (I will be heading to IKEA this weekend to get a $4 golf umbrella) and second it was raining sideways so it probably wouldn't have mattered anyway. By the time I got to work the front of my pants were completely soaked. That was bad enough yet things got exponentially worse when I got into the office and said hi to my co-workers. They looked at my pants and laughed. Puzzled I looked down...and noticed you could clearly see my boxers through my pants. Like clearly. Like inappropriately clearly.

In horror I got to my desk as fast as I could and remained there for the next 90 minutes with my legs as far under my desk as they would go until my pants dried. Thankfully they did and the boss didn't see me, but needless to say I was horrified and embarrassed. It wasn't until my wife had called to console/make fun of me that she mentioned it probably wasn't a good idea to wear linen after Labor Day. Um gee thanks honey. Thanks for telling me that AFTER I had worn them to work today!

If you ever wondered how big of an idiot I am, well, wonder no more. Yet thankfully I've lived to tell about it, and could even show my face at work today. Maybe it's to make myself feel better, or maybe because it's true, but I'm sensing a similar theme of embarrassment and redemption among many of the Big Ten teams so far. When I went down the list it seems like every team's had an embarrassing moment in the first four weeks and yet have lived, or will live to tell about it...

#22 Michigan @ Michigan State (11am Big Ten Network)
Embarrassing Moment: The whole "Sunday Work-Out Gate" story before the season started
Living to Tell About It: Rich Rod has gone from the hot seat to the catbird seat as he's started 4-0, including a win over everybody's least favorite school Notre Dame.

Michigan State
EM: pick one- losing AT HOME to a team called the Chippewas, gift-wrapping a win for Notre Dame with a dropped INT and a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE INT, or getting outplayed by Wisconsin. You choose.
LTTAI: Beating hated rival Michigan at home this Saturday. And that's probably about it for this year.

Northwestern @ Purdue (11am Big Ten Network)
EM: It's either their non-conference schedule, or that they lost a non-conference game already. I can't decide.
LTTAI: Um, that the player's will at least get a great education? That they go to school in an awesome city like Chicago? I don't see any on-field redemption coming unless you count possibly beating Indiana, Miami of Ohio or Illinois, but even none of those are givens.

EM: Head coach Danny Hope, up four with 36 seconds left, apparently feels as charitable as Michigan State did the week before, as he calls a timeout to allow Notre Dame (who was out of timeouts) the time to run two plays, the last of which they scored the winning touchdown on. Pop Warner coaches don't make that mistake, Danny.
LTTAI: Like Indiana, they were picked by everyone (including yours truly) to be one of the two worst teams in the Big 10, but they have a very real shot of a bowl game this year. And it starts with a win Saturday.

Arkansas State @ #13 Iowa (11:05am ESPN2)
EM: Iowa needing not one but two blocked field goals in the final seconds to defeat a 1-AA team in their opener.
LTTAI: In the three games since they've looked like the best team in the Big Ten (After having to type that I will now remove my fingernails with a staple remover. I HATE IOWA!!!!).

#15 Penn State @ Illinois (2:30pm ABC)
Penn State
EM: Their Northwestern-like non-conference schedule- and then when they finally play a real team they get dumped at night at home against Iowa.
LTTAI: That they can't possibly play that badly again. Or can they? Not this week anyway.

EM: basically their entire season so far.
LTTAI: Um...only nine more games until the season is over? Juice Williams will be gone next year and Eddie McGee will be your quarterback? The Zooker will reel in another strong recruiting class (who cares if he can only recruit but not coach? We're focusing on the positives here!!)

#9 Ohio State @ Indiana (6:00pm Big Ten Network)
Ohio State
EM: Losing to USC. Again.
LTTAI: Posting back-to-back shutouts since then. And that they still have an awesome defense and some guy named Pryor at QB. They're still the best bet to win the conference, just hope they don't meet USC in the Rose Bowl.

EM: Survived an awful opener against 1-AA Eastern Kentucky with a 19-13 "non-loss" (I refuse to call that a win)
LTTAI: Won their next two, and despite a loss at Michigan last week, they only lost by three and looked really good doing it (or did Michigan look really bad? Discuss, discuss...). I had them pegged as the worst team in the conference to start the season, but with the way they've played and with how wide open the conference looks, a bowl game is a real possibility.

Wisconsin @ Minnesota (11am ESPN)
EM: It was either the choice of Bret Bielma as successor to Barry Alvarez, or it was Bielma, and the rest of this team, popping off about how much TCF Bank stadium sucks and won't be a factor and will be no big deal. Also how much he doesn't like the Gophs' new yellow unis.
LTTAI: Eating his words on Saturday. Oh wait, that's not redemptive at all.

EM: A Minnesota player was seen swinging a 2X4 at college kids during a brawl last weekend- and he didn't get suspended for it (by the way, after this one- and the suspensions of two Gopher players to start the week- I will officially shut up about Iowa's off-the-field incidents compared to ours).
LTTAI: Beating hated rival Wisconsin this Saturday in front of a packed, loud and maroon-and-gold clad crowd while hopefully wearing the new yellow unis!


cappszilla said...

At least you weren't wearing those lacy thong undies you always go on and on about.

Jeff said...

You're right Josho, it could have been SO much worse!