Friday, June 26, 2009

To booze or not to booze, THAT is the question

Booze, definitely booze. I think we can all agree on that, yes? Okay, now that we have that settled, we can move on to the question as it pertains to the various incarnations of our Golden Gophers sports teams.

So there won't be any boozin' at Gopher football games this fall (or any fall for that matter), not even for the super rich folks. In a way, this is comforting to me. I mean, they already get to sit in their plush heated rooms with excellent food... something which I won't get to do. But if they also got to imbibe while the rest of the poor folks didn't... well that just wouldn't be very American now would it?

But I digress.

Buck Bravo also makes a great point. Really, it's been too easy for too long for U of M students to be drunk at football games. There's nothing difficult about being drunk for an 11am football game if you can just walk into the stadium, plop down a $20, and slam two Dome beers from cups adorned with images of Joe Mauer (!?!?!?!). Cripes, you might not even have to show up to the stadium until 10:55, and you could be hammered by the time you get to your seat in time for kickoff.

This generation already has it too easy. Seriously... Easy Mac? Twist off wine caps? The internet? Sliced bread? Give me a break!

There's just no commitment to pre-game rituals anymore, especially for the early games. As far as I'm concerned tailgating is a 3 hour undertaking... MINIMUM! If you aren't going to bother being at the lot by 8am then you might as well stay home and listen to Dave Lee butcher the play-by-play while you drink OJ out of your sippy cup YOU BUNCH OF PATSIES!!!


I wish Brunnicks would have just said, "Look, we know that being drunk at football games is a rite of passage for college students. We get it! But these spoiled brats have it too easy. Well NO MORE! We're going to bring a little midwest work ethic to this social scene! So no booze at the games, unless you are resourceful. You punks better start practicing your 7am wake up calls and pre-Cheerios beer bongs or next fall you'll be nothing but a stain on the road with a crew cut!!!" (I don't know what that last part means, or why Brunnicks would say it.)

... or something like that.

I think this shows good judgement by the University. No more special privilages for the rich, and no more smooth road to puking in the bathroom at the games for the students!

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