2009 Gopher Football Mid-Season Nachos

Jeffrick and I had some fun with watching some Nacho Libre clips during this week's podcast.  We even enlightened you with Nacho's "Encarnacion" song.  You're welcome!

In this vein, I thought it might be fun to give away some mid-season awards to the Gopher Football team based on quotes from the movie Nacho Libre.

So, here now, for your reading pleasure, the 2009 Gopher Football Mid-Season Nachos.

The "I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast" Award goes to... 

Ryan Collado.  For getting burned so many times on so many passing plays.  Collado does a fine job in run defense, but when it comes to pass defense, he could use a little help.  Congratulations Ryan!


The "They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!" Award goes to...  

MarQueis Gray.  Clearly Jedd Fisch and Tim Brewster think that Gray doesn't know a buttload of crap about the offense... but he does!  Or at least we'd like to think so.  Later in the movie Nacho proves himself as a worthy man, who understands the gospel.  We can only hope the same for MarQueis.  Congratulations MarQueis!


The "Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?" Award goes to... 

The offensive line.  Outside of the Purdue game, the O-line has given me bouts of stomach difficulties.  We knew the O-line might be a word in progress, but their only job is to block (just kidding, I realize there's more to it than this).  Because of the new emphasis on running, Tim Davis, and another year of experience, I really thought that the line would be much better this season, but we haven't seen it yet.  Congratulations Offensive Line!


The "I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the fancy creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic!" Award goes to...

Everybody on the Gophers offense NOT named Decker. With 46 receptions Eric Decker leads the team... no surprise there.  But the next closest in receptions?  Nick Tow-Arnett with... 13.  In fact, Decker has as many receptions as the next 5 players (Tow-Arnett, Green, Stoudemire, Bennett, Hoese) on the list COMBINED.   Decker is the best WR in the Big Ten, so of course he is going to have the most catches, and I have no problem with that.  But the other guys want some love too.  So, with that in mind... Congratulations Everybody on the Gophers offense NOT named Decker!

The "So anyways, let's get down to the nitty gritty... Who is this Encarnación?" Award goes to...

Tim Brewster (with Honorable Mention to Jedd Fisch).  Six games into the 2009 campaign and we still really have no idea who this team is.  We've seen flashes of brilliance from the defense, but inconsistency in pass defense.  We've seen games where we blitz a lot to keep the opposing offense off balance, but we've seen games where we get very little pressure.  We've seen games where we run the ball well, and we've seen games where we pass the ball well... but we haven't seen any games where we do both.  We've seen games where our special teams has a huge impact, and we've seen games where we shoot ourselves in the foot with penalties.  Just who is this team, what is their identity?  Congratulations Tim Brewster!


The "Do you remember the time when everyone was screaming my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse?" Award goes to...

TCF Bank Stadium, "The Bank."  This football team now has a fantastic stadium to play its games in and entertain its fans in.  The crowds in The Bank are really fired up, and it carries over to the players on the field.  People are screaming for the team, and it's amplified by the atmosphere of the stadium.  Congrats to The Bank!


The "I looked like a fool last night. What took you so long!?" Award goes to...

Slow starts.  Jeffrick and I discussed it in this week's podcast, but what is going on with this team starting so slowly?  The defense seems to take 2-3 series to settle into the game plan or to acclimate themselves with what the other team is doing (which killed us against Cal), and the offense has struggled to move the ball early as well.  What's taking them so long?  Congratulations Slow Starts!


Congratulations again to all of our winners!  And now, your local news...